These motherhood truths will help on the tough days.
I sat sobbing on the floor while looking at my three month old in his bouncy seat. He was sobbing too; he had been uncontrollably crying for the last hour. I didn’t know what else to do. I had tried everything: diaper change, nursing, burping, rocking, going outside, a bath, and bouncing.
“I’m his mom!,” I said through my tears, “I should know what to do!”
There it was. The belief that mothers should know all. The expectation that we should do this whole thing perfectly. And when we don’t, we feel like a complete failure. Throw in the side eyes from family members and the hurtful, albeit well-meaning, remarks from friends, (and sometimes complete strangers that for some reason feel they should speak into our world) and it’s tough!
No matter the age of our children, we will have some rough parenting days. Whether we are dealing with a baby that can’t stop crying, a three year old that has screamed the entire way through the grocery store, the tween attitude, or the teen making hurtful choices, the motherhood journey has hard days.
I feel you! I’ve been you. Let’s ditch the perfect parent parade and be the moms that offer others encouragement. Let’s band together because, truth be told, we need each other. We don’t need another “friend” that huffs and shakes their head at our tardiness to our kid’s play, or demeaningly says, “My kids were never allowed to act like that!” Those aren’t our people.
Shake those comments off and know that YOU ARE ROCKING THIS MOM THING.
Do you know why? Because you continue to show up. You continue to try. And that’s the most important thing of all.
4 Motherhood Truths for the Tough Days
1. Even when you don’t have all of the answers, you’re still a good mom.
Remember when I told you I cried with my baby boy because I had run out of solutions? I was still a good mom. Actually, I am a great mom. I’m intentional. I try to do right by them. They are my priority outside of Jesus and my husband. A bad day, week, or month doesn’t make us a bad mom!! And let me let you in on a secret, even if someone tells you that you aren’t doing good (perhaps even your own child), it isn’t true! I would be willing to bet that if you are reading this article, you too are a great mom.
2. You are the perfect mom for them.
Perfection is not required of us; it should never be our goal. Why? Because it’s completely unattainable. I don’t care how perfect someone can make this mothering thing seem on the outside. It’s false; a filter of a life. We want to do this thing well, but perfect isn’t real. Let’s never forget that we are the perfect mom for them. The children that were born to us are no mistake. They need something we have to offer them. They have a purpose that we can shape and help them attain simply by being us. Mama, this means the world! Even on your worst day, don’t forget that you are the perfect mom for your child.
3. They don’t need your perfection just your presence.
This piggybacks onto number two but is just too important to skim over. Let go of the mindset of perfection and choose connection. If we are the best mom for them with the ability to help them fulfill their purpose (and we are), then we need to be intentional. Life is busy. It’s incredibly easy to do the bare minimum in our relationships because we are tired! One thing I have had to consistently work on is choosing to keep healthy boundaries in everything in my life simply to protect my ability to be intentional with my family. But it is that important! Your presence could be as simple as sitting with them to watch them play a video game, popping popcorn together, or sipping milkshakes. It’s amazing how they remember these tiny moments as monumental memories. Our presence matters.
4. You are important and the sacrifices you are making matters.
Please never forget this one. I deeply believe that motherhood is one of the hardest, and most important things, we will ever do in our life. It is raising the next generation, who will then raise the next generation, and so on and so on. It doesn’t mean we won’t do other great things. We will. But this is one of the most sacrificial things we will ever do, and it is worth it! Every bit of love we pour out is seed well sown. It is truly one of the most noble causes in the world.
You are important mama!! We push back hell with the sound of our laughter. With a comforting meal from our kitchen, our families are fed and their hearts loved. Our arms bring peace to an upset child. Our kisses make the pain subside. We create a safe place for others to run home to when the world goes sideways. We are ever building, ever working, ever nurturing, ever loving. There is nothing else like you in the world. You and what you do matters!
When the tough days come, revisit these motherhood truths. Remember, ditch the perfect parent parade (it’s fake anyway), and embrace these truths that you are seen, known, loved, and important.