“Cruelty is cheap, easy, and rampant. It’s also chicken sh*t.” -Brene Brown
You are worthy right NOW of kindness. As you are. You are worthy to be covered, not exposed. Maybe you didn’t fulfill someone’s expectations of you. Maybe you were in a situation where you owned your failures, but the other person didn’t. Instead, they ignored their own piece of the story and waved your mistakes around like a flag. Maybe you did your best, but it just wasn’t enough for someone else. Maybe you covered them, but they didn’t cover you. Maybe you trusted someone, only to find that they said some really cruel things about you. Maybe you trusted in the promises of another, only to find out that they lied.
I feel your hurt. I think we have all been there at some point.
Our struggles in life are unfortunately part of our humanity. Failure is a shared part of all of our stories. It sucks, but most of us will get really hurt at some point in life. We will be betrayed or bullied.
Cruelty is easy. It takes no bravery, nor courage to be cruel to someone. In fact, I feel that usually someone’s cruelty towards you, actually doesn’t have a whole lot to do with you. It says a lot about them. It is how they armor up when hurt. It is how they think they are protecting themselves. And if the cruelty comes from a total stranger, then it is possible you may have triggered a hurt spot in them. It probably had nothing to do with you, and yet you got the beating for it. I strongly feel that no one deserves cruelty no matter how bad they messed up.
Consequences, yes. Cruelty, no.
Cruelty only causes shame. It actually causes us to spiral into hopelessness. Here is the hard part of it…cruelty does this even if the accusations are untrue.
I have heard it said, “Well if it isn’t true, just blow it off. It shouldn’t hurt.” Guess what? It DOES hurt. It hurts if it is untrue, it hurts if it comes from a complete stranger, and it especially hurts if it comes from someone you love. It all hurts.
People are in desperate need of kindness. Life is hard enough. We are all doing what we can to heal from the traumas of our past. I am of the impression that yes, each one of us will fail really really hard at times, but it is kindness that gets us back on track. It’s kindness that gives us the courage to get up and push forward. Kindness offers hope. Kindness is the light piercing through the darkness. Kindness tells us that life doesn’t have to stay the way it is. Kindness offers the life line that just might save another’s life.
I am so sorry for the hurts that have been done to you. I pray it doesn’t hinder your kindness.
We each have the choice every single day of how we will act and what we will choose to be. Even if cruelty was someone’s choice of treatment towards you, you don’t have to return it. I want to encourage you to smile at others, even if they don’t smile back. Help that stranger carry their groceries. Take your neighbor cookies. Send the thank you note. Pay for the person’s coffee that is in line behind you.
You want to see the best in people? Choose kindness.
It makes all the difference.
Thanks for this blog post Rachel. Wise timely advice!
I appreciate it. Thank you for commenting!
Rachel, thanks for this post. Definitely the wisdom we need, especially right now!
That is so kind. Thank you Cathy!