What can I say about this year? It has become a joke to chalk up all the crap that has happened to “It’s 2020.” Kind of like the whole “Epstein didn’t kill himself thing.” Something so sobering has become a laughing matter. 

But seriously, 2020 has shaken me to my core. I have grieved and suffered more in this year than I ever have before. I felt like I was torn apart at the seams and left in the ashes to pick up the pieces of my soul. 

BUT God met me there.

He took that broken soul, and began to rebuild me and free me in ways that I didn’t even know were necessary. 

There really is something incredibly beautiful about a broken hallelujah. No one wants the grief. No one wants sorrow, but there are places in you that will only change through suffering. Though God doesn’t cause it, He does allow it. He isn’t pleased in your grief, but He is pleased with the good that it can bring. Darkness provides the opportunity for God to visit the deep places in your soul. Grief swings those deep places wide open. 

Maybe you can’t see God in your mess right now.

I promise He is there. 

Walking with you. Guiding you. Waiting for you to come to the end of yourself and surrender, so He can lead you through it. He longs to heal you. 

The old saying that “Hindsight is 20/20” is absolutely true. (What a fitting statement for the year 20/20!) Though you may feel crushed by what this year has brought, you will soon look back and see His protection through it all. There are things that couldn’t go with you to the new places. There are people who weren’t good for you in this season, no matter how much you cared about them. The timing just wasn’t right for certain things. There were doors that closed to protect you. As painful as it has been, you will see His goodness in it all. 

Welcome to the new you. Welcome to your new era.

This year has been crushing at times, but it only closed a chapter. Your story isn’t over yet. What you thought was the end is actually a new beginning. When you thought you were being buried in the darkness, you were actually being prepared to be rebirthed. 

God has so much prepared for you. Don’t give up my friend.


Rachel is a Postpartum Nurse of 15+ years. She is also a Spinning Babies® CPE, Childbirth Educator, Published Author, and Recipe Creator. Rachel's passion is to encourage and empower women in all things related to motherhood.


  1. I loved your post about a broken Halleluiah, This year has been difficult and down right depressing. But no matter how big or bad the storm is God is in the midst of it with us. The storms are where our faith is tested and we become more like Christ.
    J. Wallace

    • Very true Judy! I’m encouraged that when we surrender to God, He can turn even the rough stuff for some sort of good in our lives. Much love to you!

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