There is this struggle in life as a mom.
For the stay at home mom (SAHM), there’s this expectation of “Oh, how blessed you are. That is so great” (and an implied “how easy!”). And yes…I do feel blessed to get to be with my children so much. But in all honesty, there were times that it was much easier to go to work and leave the caregiving to another. It was easier to manage patient’s medications, care for new moms and their babies, and be on my feet for the 12 plus hour shifts, then be an “all in” mom at home.
My fellow full time coworkers struggled in a different way. There was the mom guilt of working a full time job, and missing out on your children at home. Missing their sports games and daily activities. Leaving the house before they wake up and getting home just in time to say good night.
For the stay at home mom, it’s wrestling away the guilt of feeling like you should enjoy each second of hearing “Mom!!!!” for the hundredth time. It’s feeling the shame of not knowing how to help solve another conflict between your children. It’s not having the answer for another emotional breakdown of a sensitive six year old. It’s helping them through their home education, when you yourself feel inadequate to do so.
And for all of us, it’s “Are we doing enough?” It’s, “I need a break, but it’s so hard on everyone else if I actually take one.”
So much of this journey in life is learning to struggle well through the process of it all. Learning to let go of the guilt and shame and just be. Believing that you are enough just because you are their mom. They don’t need you to have all of the answers. They just need you. They need your hugs at the right moment. They need to know you are a safe place…a soft place to land when life goes sideways.
They need your presence, not your perfection.
So I encourage you today to let go of the doubts, the expectations of others, the shame, and the guilt. Know that you are doing your best, as is that other mom next door. Be the one to offer the look of compassion; the “We’re all in this together” look. You ARE enough mama!
P.S MOMent. Do let go of the guilt, and actually take a break. You and your family will be better for it.